The girls started school recently, which means I have been sick as a dog; they have proven themselves to be quite proficient when it comes to importing all sorts of new germs, and I don't appreciate it. I have been going stir crazy, so this morning it became imperative that I put on my best tutu and head to the Dragon Con parade. For the uninitiated, Dragon Con is the world's largest fantasy/sci-fi convention and every Labor Day weekend it's responsible for turning Atlanta into the adult version of the Island of Misfit Toys. Anything goes - you're a Furry with a Steampunk/Mad Max fetish? Sit by me! You think a Wonder Woman costume might be improved upon by adding blue face paint and a giant pair of black crow's wings? Come on by! It's fantastic. People come from all over the world, admire one another's Star Trek uniforms and have nasty monkey sex. And top it all off with a fabulous parade. Remember that kid who got stuffed in a locker in 5th grade because he was really into Dungeons and Dragons? He's getting the last laugh, as well as a fierce blowjob from a saucy young thing in a Princess Leia bikini. Mark my words.
you look beautiful, Leia
Things did not get off to the best start for the Piper squad; just as we pulled into the valet station, the RM expressed her opinion of our outing by vomiting all over herself. JHP fled the scene, so I said a quick thank-you to the sinus infection that has killed my sense of smell, mopped her off and rallied. Just in time to see this
Begone! This is no place for you people. If you can't accept the idea of people dressed up as Tetris pieces, or that Batman is actually a middle-aged woman (and one of quite large carriage, at that) then you need to get the hell out of my parade. Perhaps your time would be better spent by assisting this poor zombie family who's gotten lost.
Zombies were big this year. First there was Stan the zombie, who I wouldn't know from Adam the zombie, but who is evidently famous enough to warrant a solo spot
But Stan can't beat this with a truckful of sticks; pack your shit up and move on out because nothing is better than zombie Village People. Disco is dead, indeed.
I don't know the story behind this but it made me feel funny, in a bad way. Like the first time I saw "Reservoir Dogs", or a naked old person.
Especially because they were immediately followed by this
shit
And this made me feel old and out of it, because I don't know who this is
but then HE showed up and all was right with the world.
I was a little insulted on his behalf that someone felt it was necessary to put his name on the side of the car - who doesn't recognize Billy Gee-Dee Williams?!? That is one bad, bold, smooth motherfucker. I love him almost as much as I love Abe Carver on "Days of Our Lives" and that's saying something. Star Wars was, as usual, the most popular theme of the day, so Lando got much love. Star Wars was also open to the most reinterpretation; we had these guys, because, of course.
this is a shockingly common cross-fetish, evidently
that Jar Jar Binks is such an annoying idiot. It's only August, for Pete's sake and he's all "Merry Christmas!"
this kind of pissed me off. The Muppets have no business aligning with the Empire. What gives?
The Venn Diagram overlap of Stormtrooper Parrotheads was quite small, which pleased me because I can't help but feel like Jimmy Buffett's career is built upon laughing at our expense. I don't care for him. My favorite ex-boyfriend earned that status by kicking someone out of his fraternity for proudly claiming "I'm the biggest Parrothead you'll ever meet. If you even THINK you know a bigger one, you're wrong." Fortunately, these fine folks showed up
to let us know that the Death Star shall be breached via Little Rascal. Right about now the RM booted again, this time on my shoulder as well as after my sinus medicine kicked in so I was able to fully appreciate the bouquet. We tied the kids to the car and rolled out.
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