Another thing that gave me pause at the beach was, in short, the people. Specifically, how they dress and behave and live and breathe etc. etc. Granted we were in the Florida panhandle, where I've been going since I was < 0, so it certainly wasn't as if we were expecting Cannes fashion or Sardinian yacht parties but is it too much to expect that you could perhaps be amongst people who understood the impropriety of say, staking a giant Confederate flag in the sand or hanging out at the pool in curlers and pajamas? With a bong? And a baby? It's like the minute these people declare it to be their time of leisure it's all, fuck you guys, it's going to happen MY way and what do you think you're looking at. There were more than a few instances that it was very difficult for me to not pull someone aside and discretely tell them "I'm sorry to tell you this but you are actually in public at the moment. Also I can see your vagina".
It's not just rude behavior that bothered me, there was also a surplus of weirdness. Like the one guy in jeans who solemnly carried one of those large, clear plastic under-the-bed storage boxes down to the beach containing a single book, or the other guy who inexplicably dragged his entire rolling suitcase out on the sand, struggling with it like crazy to the point that I finally yelled "just pick it UP" (or maybe just whispered it kinda loud. I'm confrontational like that). They both made the fellow with the deluxe metal detector/headphones rig look completely reasonable.
I'd be tempted to chalk this up to the fact that hey, we're at the beach, people come from all over and may even be German so perhaps they just have different standards of behavior, except I've seen my fair share of this shit here in Atlanta. For example, there's one family who go to the same pool we do and who swim completely clothed. As in, regular pants, long-sleeved t-shirts, giant urban sombreros, street shoes. The whole nine yards. I've even seen the dad wear one of those khaki fishing vests in there. They seem to be completely unfamiliar with the concept of a pool; as if they've just that moment wandered in from the hills of Belarus and are intrigued by this large, water-filled hole. And lest you think I'm picking on some innocent family who simply doesn't know any better, let me tell you that the mother is a well-known polarizing television personality whose name I will decline to reveal out of discretion but whose initials are Nancy Grace.
I suppose I should have seen this coming. Back when I worked in the US Capitol building I was constantly surprised by how the tourists would dress and behave. "Let's see...we're visiting the hallowed halls of our nation's capital and I choose to represent myself by wearing skintight sweatpants with "LUCKY" printed across the ass. Honey, you should definitely show your respect by wearing that too small powder blue t-shirt that says 'Who Farted?' and has a hole in the armpit. This is exactly how we should make our mark." Most people would have paid more attention to their physical selves preparing to speak to their meter reader.
The decline in public behavior is depressing as hell; the next thing you know people are going to have their car alarms going off in the middle of the night. That is some shameful shit.
FABULOUS!!!
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